Welcome to Vanaja’s Blog
September 17, 2009Welcome to my blog! I have created this blog and my website for women around the world who, for whatever reason, chose to leave their marriage or long term relationship.
Accepting What You Cannot Change
July 27, 2010This hasn’t been a very good weekend for me. The engine coolant leaked out of my RAV4 seconds after I parked it in my underground driveway on Friday. Pretty pink colour gushed out, and then it was drip, drip, and drip, followed by some more gushing out. My heart sank. I looked at it panicked – WHAT is this pink stuff? How on earth am I going to clean up this mess? How could this happen to my new car? Wait! I thought, it’s not new anymore – it’s almost three years old – actually in a week it will have passed its 3-year warranty period. How time flies, because it still feels new to me, and so far it has been a great car. But I guess it’s time for it to start acting up!
Guilt is a Two-Sided Coin
July 20, 2010Guilt is an odd emotion to deal with during marriage as well as after a divorce. Many people stay in a dead-end relationship because they feel guilty for “giving up” on their marriage. In the back of their minds they feel things may change or there may be a way to solve their problems, so their thoughts of just throwing in the towel bring tremendous guilt and a feeling of shame.
After Divorce – The Truth as it Stands Today
July 12, 2010The truth of today is likely to be very different from the truth of yesterday when it comes to matters of the heart. If you are struggling with lingering guilt, regret, and other emotions from your divorce, think about how your emotional truth has changed.
3 Words Couples Should Never Use Against One Another
July 6, 2010There are some very simple words in our language that are harmless in most situations, but which can lead to the destruction of a relationship if couples use them as weapons against one another. Oftentimes they are used without realizing how they sound and feel to the other person.
Is Manipulative Behavior Holding You Back?
June 30, 2010Manipulative behavior is anything designed to force you into actions or commitments that you don’t necessarily want to make. In a relationship, manipulative behavior often starts out very subtle but it can quickly turn into a huge problem in the relationship.
Are You Waiting for Prince Charming?
June 22, 2010Did you make a long list of all the requirements for your husband (or wife) when you were younger? If so, how many of those attributes did your first husband end up possessing? If you didn’t make that list, you probably have an idea of what your dream partner would have looked like back then. Looking back now you may realize how unrealistic that list of desired attributes really was.
Dating can be a Scary Thing the Second Time Around
June 14, 2010If the thought of sitting across a candle lit table with someone you barely know and talking about your life scares you, you aren’t alone. There are many reasons to fear dating when you have been through a long term relationship that ended badly.
How to Survive “Date Night” After the Divorce
June 7, 2010Did you have a particular night during your marriage when you went out with your spouse for a date? And now do you feel lonely when Friday or Saturday nights roll around and everyone in the restaurants and stores seem to be on a date? If you aren’t at a place in your post-divorce recovery where you are ready to start dating again, or you are struggling to find dates, it isn’t easy to deal with date nights.
Taking Ownership of Your Life Again
May 31, 2010The biggest difference between married life and post-divorce single life is being solely responsible for every small detail of your life. When you are single you no longer have the convenient ability to pass the blame on to someone else or make excuses when everything turns upside down.
Happy to be Free?
May 25, 2010Here’s something that not all women want to admit: they are genuinely happy to get rid of their husband! Not everyone is a sad wreck after their divorce. Deep down some are happy to be free and on their own. They are happy to have those ties cut so that they can do the things that they have always wanted to do with their lives.